There It was the words my Doctor has been saying for years in Black & White on the image report. The Big one! For over 11 years he has called a horse a horse, but my body was like a puzzle that had a hole in the box and we just could not find the missing links. The big picture was visible to all that looked at it, but because of logistics, he couldn’t call it complete.
It was odd that the first feeling I had was to cry, because in so many ways there was relief. Do not get me wrong. I did not want to get this news. I actually was expecting to walk away yet again with the normal explanation which was so scary to hear.
We see non specific Demyelinating disease on your MRI, we see all of these other positive results. Your exam shows you are loosing more abilities and the disease is progressing.
The problem is, your history and your other diagnosis. We will have to wait for the “Big one”! In our eyes the diagnosis is Multiple Sclerosis, but until this happens we are left to question our expert opinion. Mr. and Mrs. Monaghan we should warn you this “Big One” could mean we will be looking at a autopsy before we find the exact diagnosis.
Those words did not scare me so much, as I would happily stand at the feet of Jesus. Away from my decaying, painful body. What makes the tears fall even as I say these words is those I would leave behind.
I am not sure how this was for my husband, but neither of us really spoke of it and we didn’t tell family and friends. We didn’t even talk much about how the doctors felt I would loose the use of my legs within a few years. I just pushed forward to prove them wrong.
Rumors of doubt followed me through all these years as my insides were stirring like magma and today come to surface as the volcano erupts. It should be mentioned if you have someone in your life with a illness its really not about what they say that its important. Its about the magma that is swirling within their body. So often you hear someone say that a person does not or did not complain. Regardless if a person complains or not It is still about what they are NOT saying.
Not that I blame anyone! According to a report by scientist of the U.S. Geological Survey the number of people who live in a area at risk from volcanic eruptions were to reach 500 million by the year 2000. We as people have built walls up around ourselves for decades when we don’t understand something. We don’t ask questions or show regard to things that are different or scary to look into. We just act like it’s not there.
We doubt facts. Presume someone is lying. We even spread rumors to help our own suspicions. These are the very things Satan will use against us after 1000 perfect years with God and heaven on earth. It is what he used in the beginning with Adam and Eve. “God didn’t really say, not to eat from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.” (my wording) and you bet your bottom dollar he will use this through to the end or it doesn’t work!
We see this in our news, social media and in our families everyday. I was hit like a ton of bricks one day when I was digging into the book of Revelation. See this is the part of the bible so many people are afraid to teach on. It is our future. It hasn’t happened yet.
If you don’t know this part of the bible I would suggest that you dig into soon. Here is why.
Last year my husband had brain surgery and we were focused on him. He lost his job while he was recovering. He was our main focus for several months. The hard part of the story is that we were so tied up in those things. Which were important things! We got side tracked and we lost valuable time with his dad. We didn’t know that all though my husbands life would be spared “after brain surgery” his father would be going home to be with our Lord.
Had there been a book written about this, would we have listened? Human nature says no. If you ask Adam, my husband he would tell you that I had voiced a few concerns to him about the familiar territory. Actually we were replaying our own life, but only 10 years prior it was my health, my job, and my mom that left us to soon, but I’m not a doctor nor am I God so he didn’t heed my warning. Why do you think this was?
We never know our time. The person you feel is the sickest in your family can outlive everyone else. I have seen it first hand. The youngest healthiest person can walk out the door today and it will be the last you ever see them. This is also true for when our father comes for us. We have some indicators in the book of Revelation, but many of us are gifted with the gift of dreams and visions and we write them down and it is not until they come to pass that we truly understand the meaning. We know this fact Jesus will return!
Which brings me to one key point. We may feel we have relationship with the Lord, but we have a enemy that will do everything he can to tare us from him. The book of Revelation tells us that after the Lord comes to bring heaven on earth We will have 1000 perfect years. (that sounds amazing doesn’t it!) But at the end of that 1000 years Satan will be released from prison and deceive us again. (my wording) My question to you is how do you think this happens after 1000 perfect years? How can we be deceived after spending all that time with God? When do you think our Relationship needs to start with him if we do Not want to be deceived? What do you think he used on my husband, after his dad passed on. On me after my mom passed on. Guilt, shame, rumors, lies, persuasion? What about you, what does he use on you?
I don’t know about any of you, but I now understand what God fearing means. I don’t fear the lord because I am afraid of death or afraid of him. I am afraid that I am a sinner, and that I do not deserve his love and forgiveness. I am afraid because I do not want to EVER put anything or anyone before him.
Hearing the words this September 2018 that I have Multiple Sclerosis after 18 years of symptoms and 11 years of having a diagnosis of Probable MS. I realize now that about 7 years ago when I stopped caring what people were saying and started listening to what God was saying I was saying NO to Satan. I will be taking this to all the places in my life, because when we get to that 1000 perfect years and Satan is released I want to be able to say. Not Today Satan, Not this girl, Not Ever!
And when the thousand years are ended, Satan will be released from his prison and will come out to deceive the nations that are at the four corners of the earth, Gog and Magog, to gather them for battle; their number is like the sand of the sea. And they marched up over the broad plain of the earth and surrounded the camp of the saints and the beloved city, but fire came down from heaven and consumed them, and the devil who had deceived them was thrown into the lake of fire and sulfur where the beast and the false prophet were, and they will be tormented day and night forever and ever. Revelation 20:8-10 ESV
Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” Genesis 3:1 ESV
And when the thousand years are ended, Satan will be released from his prison and will come out to deceive the nations that are at the four corners of the earth, Gog and Magog, to gather them for battle; their number is like the sand of the sea. And they marched up over the broad plain of the earth and surrounded the camp of the saints and the beloved city, but fire came down from heaven and consumed them, and the devil who had deceived them was thrown into the lake of fire and sulfur where the beast and the false prophet were, and they will be tormented day and night forever and ever. Revelation 20:8-10 ESV
Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” Genesis 3:1 ESV
