Don’t allow an imposter into your feed.
Accepting Friend requests on social media
We all have been there, a friend request that is not familiar.
Weather you run a professional social media site, you are an administrator in a group, or have a private account, you have gotten that friend request that doesn’t sit right.
Before you ever hit the accept button there are some things that you should do to protect yourself, your friends, family, and business.
I have learned from leading social media groups and being a participant in over 200 groups from biblical, medical, education and business.
Before you accept a friend, request there are some things you should pay attention to.
This isn’t talked about much and I wanted to share some things I have learned.
I hope that these steps can help you and your loved ones from being the next “hacked” account.
It may seem overwhelming in the beginning, but once you make a point of doing these things it will be second hand and could save you from a lot more work of trying to confirm your identity or even identity thief.
Go to the person’s profile and look at the account. Check these things.
- How long has the account been open? – If it is recently new, it doesn’t mean it’s fake, but check further.
- Check the mutual friends – this will tell you; did I get this request from my She Speaks conference, or from my Multiple Sclerosis- support group, or a family member etc.…
(Note: It’s important to remember not to count on your mutual friends to do the work. This opens you both up to get hacked. It is the easiest way for a private account to get hacked. You let them in, and they get your friend list)
- Look for common groups you may be in, this will show right on the top of the request page.
- See if they have a relationship listed such as a spouse, parent, sibling. You can link to that account and confirm in that profile they are who they say they are. (Note: sometimes a person will make a fake account and say they are Tammy, they put they are married to Thomas, and you link to the account and find Tammy is Thomas trying to get onto your group or page for whatever reason.)
- Pictures tell a thousand words. If they have no pictures but claim to be a mom be suspicious. (Note: not all mom’s want photos of their kids on social media so I am not saying that it couldn’t still be the real person, but if you can look at the other points it will help narrow down what to look for.
- Check other social media and Even places like LinkedIn. Did you know you can google someone, and you can find a ton of information and pictures of this person? (Google yourself, you will be surprised how much info someone can get on you and this is why it is so easy to have someone steal your photo and start an account in your name and request your friends.
Regardless of the kind of profile you have, such as a hidden profile, a public profile, an Author page like my own, or a business page you will get these requests.
The most important thing you have is your gut. I have many friends that have social media account’s that barley have any content or they posted back in 2009, 2019 and just this week sent me a request with only those posts. Most of the time those are going to be legit profiles unless you have one patient hacker. Which is still a possibility.
One of the easiest ways to confirm a friend request is by texting that friend or the friend that is mutual and asking them if they know for sure who this person is.
There are many reasons we can get a friend request. For me as someone reads an article I wrote on “The Mighty” they may jump on FB and find me.
A few years ago, several of my family members got a request from someone claiming to be a cousin. This person did not realize who they were messing with. My sister started asking questions that only her and this person (maybe a few others) would know.
This fake account person could not verify anything. She didn’t have to say, “who is your dad?” or anything straight out like that, she simply said do you remember when “blah, blah, blah. This person was pulling strings to get a right answer, but it was not something you could guess at.
Never give away parents or kids names but ask a question about a funny memory you know that this person would not forget or just ask what they have been up to.
A lesson I learned through “Truckers Against Trafficking” is that many times the trafficker goes by mom or dad, and they make the trafficked person call them that. But if you ask them questions like When was the last time you gathered with your family at home, what state where you brought up in, when where you there last, where do you work or where do you eat and sleep?
Questions that can be answered safely without causing attention or letting on that you are suspicious.
It’s sad that we must worry about this, but it really is for the safety of you and anyone you do have on your social media.
Some of us need a platform for business related things. For me I write, I advocate for Chronic Illness like Multiple Sclerosis, we own a trucking business, so a platform is important to all of those.
I want to warn you, accepting a fake account may give me a follower, but it doesn’t really do me any good if my content is in helping women with abuse in their story and have a fake person following me to basically feed their egos of being an abuser.
On the flip side of this, if you do find that someone used your picture and name to start an account let your friends know asap, so they do not accept any “new” friend request. Change your password. (Note: don’t forget check the box that say’s log me out of all devices when you do this, or you just let the hacker stay. I know it is hard to change passwords, I despise doing this on all my devices, but this is a big reason you should)
I want to also hit on those we love that use fake names, yes, I have had this happen many years ago a bunch of my family had these 2 people on the friends list. I found often they would comment ritually to oppose everything I said. I later found out who these people were, and may have had them as their authentic selves, but I doubt very much they would have responded in the way they did.
When in doubt wait, whatever groups you may share watch when they comment, I know this seems stalkerish, but it’s the opposite.
You wouldn’t hire someone to be your child’s nanny without checking into them, don’t allow an imposter into your feed.
Finally, I do life with people that I do not have to agree with. I love God, but not all my friends have that same belief system. I may have been one of the first people to share personal health information on social media. (Sorry,)
We have a choice to remove and even block others if it comes down to it.
I wouldn’t suggest this. Relationships are hard enough to navigate, emotionally written social media posts are normally in the moment and can take a disagreement into the longevity of your life. Finding your way back is like emotional debt.
Not all posts from your friends will be content for you, scroll on by.
May I add from my own experience, pray before you Post, “accept” authentic and decline when in doubt.
